It's been awhile since I've updated and a lot has happened since. I've had a lot of stress in my life, unrelated to the pregnancy. I started experiencing some strange symptoms and mentioned them at my 30 week OB visit. Upon an examination, they found that I was 1cm dilated and 60% effaced. My doctor sent me to the hospital to be monitored for pre-term labor. I assumed the contractions that I was having were simply braxton hicks and gave them no thought. The hospital disagreed and I spent two days there while they administered drugs to stop them. I was sent home on Procardia and Brethine in hopes of preventing any further contractions.
At 32 weeks, I passed out and my husband insisted that an ambulance transport me to the hospital. Once again, the contractions resumed and were 3 minutes apart. I was dilated to 3cm and spent 3 more days in the prenatal ICU on magnesium sulfate. I toured the NICU and was prepped for the potential issues we might face. I was given steroids in hopes of quickly developing his lungs. My contractions finally stopped and again, I was sent home. At 33 weeks, I had a positive fetal fibronectin test.
Although I feel like a ticking time bomb, I've done my best to keep baking baby Carter. I've had weekly NST's, failing some of them and ending up at the hospital for further monitoring. At 36 weeks, the contraction medications were stopped and I was told that we have reached a safe zone. I'm now 37 weeks and still 3cm dilated, 75% effaced and Carter is in a 0 station. I'm very excited that he held out so long. My pregnancy has been complicated but I have to blame myself, wondering if the stress I've put myself through in the last few months have caused this pre-term labor. My son is a fighter and I'm very proud of the progress we've made in the pregnancy. He looks great on his ultrasounds and I'm still being told that he's a going to be a big baby. I'm looking forward to his birth and hoping that we'll be able to carry out the birth plan that I have and all goes well.
I have an appointment today to talk to a psychologist. Probably something that I should have done a long time ago. I'm not expecting anything ground breaking to happen but I'd like to eventually figure out why certain things bounce around in my head and how to put them into perspective better. Carter's room is done, his clothes are washed and everything is ready to go when he's ready to come. I still cherish each and every movement and will miss them when I'm not pregnant anymore. The best part is that I'll exchange them for a beautiful baby who I can see AND feel move. I wake up everyday wondering if today is going to be the day I get to meet him.
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1 comment:
I just wanted to let you know that I've read all of your posts through my tears. Your story breaks my heart.
I lost my baby girl at almost 19 weeks, on October 2nd. It's a very complicated story, but I didn't even know I was pregnant until my water broke. Suddenly I was faced with decisions after only finding out.
It was hard to find information and first hand stories, and then I came across your blog (linked from the PROM website). It was so helpful for me to read about your experiences, and know that another woman out there was going through what I went through. I've thought about you and your family everyday since I read your blog about 5 days ago.
If you can, I really hope you'll continue to update your blog. Did Carter arrive yet? I hope everything went well, and you have a healthy baby in your arms now.
I'm also wondering how your appointment with the psychologist went? I finally put a call in to someone for help, but she doesn't return until this Friday, so it will probably be at least another week before I go. I feel so helpless and sad, all the time...crying constantly, and trying to hide my emotions from my husband. Daily I search for something I can do to help myself, but still I search.
Thank you for sharing your story...it has helped me so much. I look forward to reading more, and hopefully seeing a picture of your new little Carter.
*hugs*
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