2/06/09 Parker's wish...

I stumbled upon a website today called wishuponahero.com and it really touched my heart. I spent my entire evening there reading wishes and realizing how truly grateful I need to be for the things I have in my life. Apparently, the site will only allow you to grant 7 wishes a day.....which was a little disappointing for me. I have a few saved and I'm sure that tomorrow will draw me back as well. I posted a wish for Parker on the site in hopes that others will follow our lead and release balloons on her due date with the link to her blog inside. I have to do something for her and she has to know just how much we truly love and miss her. http://www.wishuponahero.com/wishes/?id=83362

The cause of my breathing problem has potentially been found. The air samples that the environmental company took came back saturated with aspergillus/penicillin spores. I have always know that I was allergic to penicillin so I feel it's pretty safe to assume this is the cause of my problem. The company searched every nook and cranny of our home looking for the source of these spores. The outside air contained zero spores on the day the sample was taken so it has to be growing somewhere in the house. They were able to find a few tiny spots of mold growing on a board in our crawlspace. Chad was given specific instructions on what we could do to get rid of the mold and prevent excess air from rising from the crawlspace. He did those things and with the help of 3 air purifiers, the problem has improved tremendously. I was at the point where I was using the rescue inhaler 3-5 times a week and over the last 2 weeks, I have not used it at all. What a sigh of relief that was for us.

I will update a few things about the pregnancy here, as many of you have asked, until I can get the new blog going. I have had my fair share of scares already in my short 7 weeks. I have experienced a lot of spontaneous spotting that my doctor credits to my sensitive cervix. I have been put on progesterone supplements as well. We had our first ultrasound on February 4th at 6 weeks and 6 days. We were relieved to see a jelly bean sprouting arm and leg buds!! Baby has a strong heartbeat of 142 bpm that we could both see and hear. No matter how many times you hear it, the sound is incredible. Everything else looked great and no signs of bleeding were found on the scan.

I am trying so hard to stay positive but every trip to the restroom that yields more spotting is another stab to the heart. I like to say that I am cautiously optimistic but I am really scared to death. I can't go through this heartbreak again. I can't lose another child. I feel that once again, I'm back to holding my breath. I appreciate every pregnancy symptom, bout of nausea and my sore boobs.

Jarod confronted us on Sunday evening to ask if my belly was bigger because there was a baby in it. Of course, dinner was the reason for the belly but we did tell him. He's ecstatic. I pray that I don't let him down again. He asked if we could name the baby Parker and we explained that we already had a baby named Parker. He nodded in agreement and stated that he would start thinking about a name. I had to laugh to myself for a moment thinking of the names he has picked out for our pets (Lazlo, Polly Skuttles, Icecream, Mosquito, Agent 99, Eugene) and wondered what on earth he would come up with for a baby. I wait in anticipation to hear his selections.

I have small goals that I keep looking forward to. Our first visit with Dr. Marcotte, the MFMS, and another ultrasound is next on February 18th. It makes the pregnancy seem more achievable. September is so far away and unfortunately I know just how true the statement "there is no safe zone of pregnancy" really is.